Made in http://prillalar.com/drabbles/

Nonexistent Lang Syne

Cuthwald sipped hypothetically at his drink and stood nonexistent behind a dirty magazine. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel non-worksafe and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how body fluid-drenched his armpit hair got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Cuthwald knew very well why he was at the party: to see the inflatable sheep.

Ah, the inflatable sheep. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her corrupted buttocks-cleft made Cuthwald's heart beat like a hundred nuclear bombs detonating underneath a hospital for people with sensitive bowels.

But tonight everyone was masked. Cuthwald peered supposedly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was the inflatable sheep. There, he thought, the woman over by the set of fake pectorals, the uncorrupted one with the fleshlight mask. It had to be the inflatable sheep. No one else could look so semi-conscious, even in a fleshlight mask.

She began to walk Cuthwald's way and Cuthwald started to panic. What if she actually talked to Cuthwald?

the inflatable sheep came right up to Cuthwald and Cuthwald thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," the inflatable sheep said somehow. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the bedside Kleenex box," Cuthwald said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so physically unlikely.

Just then, a pregnant voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Cuthwald's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that the inflatable sheep might ...

"Happy New Year!"

the inflatable sheep swept Cuthwald into her arms, bent him on Second Life, and kissed Cuthwald reluctantly, slipping him the tongue and groping his dandruff.

Cuthwald could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out anxiously and pulled the inflatable sheep's mask off her face. It was the inflatable sheep! "I knew it was you," Cuthwald said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," the inflatable sheep said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Cuthwald watched her go. She would be right back, Cuthwald was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.

And then they would fall in love.









Awwwwww, Cuthwald. :3

0_0
*Eye Twitches*
*Head Explodes*

I fear for the future of the human race. In creating Cuthwald, you have doomed us all Cybersp0nge! Then again, there are people in the world who are actually more fucked up than Cuthwald, such as you, me and every other dedicated member of Newgrounds, so we've been fucked from the start.

Please, for the love of existence, tell me how in the hell you can bear the pain of describing Cuthwald's miserable existence to that small dedicated band of your followers and minions who read these strips? Surely you must want to burn out your own eyes? Except for maybe not wanting Cuthwald's pimpled arse being the last thing you ever see, which means you look at something else, and then no longer want to stab your retina's with knitting needles until the pain goes away.

Getting a little off topic, I'd like to congratulate you on doing such extreme humour so tastefully on a low (read:nonexistent) budget (and no, I'm not gonna donate, so stfu and quit your griping lol!). Your characters are all horrible perverts but are nontheless original and very entertaining, and your animations are nothing short of brilliant. Thankyou for making me feel better by comparison and if I ever win a lottery I might just make a wee donation (would 50 cents AU do the trick?). Thanks also for putting up with my trollish behaviour. Vive la Newgrounds, Vive la NSWF!

just...
gross.
The worst part is that we already know what Cuthwald looks like. if you'd have used a new character we could have shut the horror from our poor little eyes...

*shudder*

just...
gross.
The worst part is that we already know what Cuthwald looks like. if you'd have used a new character we could have shut the horror from our poor little eyes...

*shudder*

OK humanity, strike three.It's all over.Leave your existence on my desk by Monday morning.

Lots of Love,
God

Awww, poor Cuthwald. My heart feels for him.











*runs off with the Inflatable Sheep* Now my one true love and I can be together and laugh at Cuthwald forever!