I recently moved out of my mom's house, to my dad's apartment, so I have a place to stay while I try to get money to get my own apartment in the same complex. My father's a known hedonist, and for the most part keeps his sex life to himself, or at least in other parts of the house. I was minding my business, talking to an ex of mine online, and found out some news. I was turning around to tell my dad the news, and I quickly wished I hadn't. My father was sitting there, covers over his lap, and my stepmom was head-underneath. I wish my eyeballs had exploded, although I doubt it would have helped. Nothing can erase those horrors. It's about 10 times worse than the first time I ever saw Goatse.

I will never sleep again.

A few monthes ago I walked into my parents room to ask my Dad where the Circular Saw was (I was customizing my airsoft M4) it was about 9 pm and the bedroom light was off when I walked in so I turned it on, I discovered my parents fucking, they stopped and looked at me. I turned off the light and walked back to the garage and found the circular saw

You know the horror. I feel for ya.

O.O My eyes burn with the thought...

When my brothers and I were younger, we found some handcuffs in mommy and daddy's drawer and were playing Cops 'n' Robbers. Mom got really mad and took them away. It wasn't until later that I realized what they were for. And I've found my parent's strawberry flavored "nipple nibbler". Really, they should not keep it next to the cold medicine.

JESUS CHRIST. Goatse x10.

New word for anything excessively disgusting - Goatse x10

:\/

Lmao, Sp0nge.

This poll is biased!

"Would this not scare the living shit out of you?" y/n

What kinda sneakily ambiguous question is that, huh?

It's the opposite of "Would this scare the living shit out of you?" and yet that's how most people would tend to interpret it. And Florida would just throw its vote right into the ocean.

WELL PLAYED

Remember, Sp0nge, my job is fucking with peoples' heads.

I once walked in on my mom and her boyfriend about... mmm... ten seconds post-orgasm. It was a morning thing for them, and I had been making breakfast; bacon and eggs and such.

So, imagine the laughter that ensued when I asked them "Have you guys seen the splatter-screen?"

They only told me like a year later why it was so funny.

Christ. Lol.

My mum has just got a new boyfriend, a mature-fireman-type, and is obviously dead chuffed, seeing as I now have to sleep with my pillow over my head if I want to sleep at all.

I have already told of my mother and her boyfriend getting it on in the living room at 8pm

^ Oh, now that's just rude. I had a roommate do that once with some chick he picked up in a bar that night. I slept through it but my other roomies heard everything... and took great glee in re-enacting the screams the next day. XD

What is a "splatter-screen" and do I want to know?

Recently I inadvertently traumatised my girlfriend's cat, which, when things had quietened down, emerged from under the bed upon which we had been loudly doing the nasty for the past hour. o.o;;; Poor thing.