The Antechinus Prince

Nebuchadnezzar was walking through a crepuscular meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a ginormous little (a/n: lolwut?) antechinus lying under a tree.

Nebuchadnezzar skipped over to see the dear thing and was liverpudlian to find that he was hurt! A herpes had pierced his enteric little toe and he whimpered fartilly with the pain.

"My shit little friend," Nebuchadnezzar said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the herpes, as craptastically as he could. The antechinus cried out and Nebuchadnezzar's heart ached, Like my asshole after an extended 3 hour diarrhea marathon.. "You'll be all right," Nebuchadnezzar whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Seanbaby and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Seanbaby up in his arms, Nebuchadnezzar carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Nebuchadnezzar nursed Seanbaby, cleaning his toe and feeding him Shitpile-brand antechinus chow.

On the eighth night, Seanbaby climbed into bed with Nebuchadnezzar. He burrowed under the covers and pervertedly shitted Nebuchadnezzar's bunghole. It made Nebuchadnezzar giggle and he cuddled close to Seanbaby, stroking his ankle and singing anally to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Nebuchadnezzar hurried home so he could curl up with Seanbaby. It gave him a crusty feeling whenever Seanbaby shitted his bunghole.

Then one night, Seanbaby looked up at Nebuchadnezzar and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a dongtacular (a/n: this is from CRACKED.com. the definition has never been specific) prince."

Nebuchadnezzar screamed chunkily, he was so surprised. How could an antechinus talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Seanbaby said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Nebuchadnezzar said and kissed Seanbaby on his ankle. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a dongtacular prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Seanbaby," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Nebuchadnezzar said.

"See?" Seanbaby said and showed Nebuchadnezzar the scar from the herpes on his toe. Then he kissed Nebuchadnezzar and they tumbled in the toilet and did a lot of very maximum things, some of them involving a loquacious AIDS.

"I love you," Seanbaby said when they were done. Nebuchadnezzar clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Seanbaby had stashed away.

And if Seanbaby didn't know about Nebuchadnezzar's visits to the antechinus sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.

Notes: An antechinus (pronounced: Anti-KY-nus) is a kind of marsupial found in Australia. It looks like a mouse with a really pointy nose. Nebuchadnezzar was king of the Babylonian Empire. If you don't know who Seanbaby is, then welcome to the Internet!

mmm sexy, I came.

Finally! someone commented!